Today Was A Bad Day

Even though it has been many years since the death of our boys, today was a bad day.  They come sometimes, the bad days, the sorrow filled days.  Why?  I don’t know.  Perhaps it is because it is a cloudy day.  Maybe because I am alone for the weekend.  It’s possible it’s because Spring is just around the corner and there are sad anniversaries approaching. 

I know it’s okay to have bad days.  I know a part of me is broken and will never be whole.  I know it’s okay to be honest about my scars and my tears.

I know it’s okay to be a mess. That’s just what happens when you lose a child….when you lose children. 

I know there will always be bad days nestled between the good.

I know it’s okay to be who I am and to feel what I feel.

I also know it’s okay for you to be who you are and to feel what you feel. 

As Matt Haig says, “It’s okay to be the teacup with a chip in it.  That’s the one with a story.” 

When I was young, there were words I longed to hear.  I yearn to hear those same words today: 

You are going to be okay.  You are not alone.

These words are our birthright as children of the King. It is true about me, and it is also true about you.

You are going to be okay. You are not alone, even on the bad days.