Thanksgiving

Sorrow and sadness can invade our lives when we lose anything or anyone that is precious to us. Many this year have lost loved ones due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Many have lost jobs, health, and homes. These losses are not as great as the loss of a loved one, but they are real and should not be ignored or repressed.

If you are grieving a loss this year, I want to challenge you give some thought to making changes in your Thanksgiving celebration. If you have always played the hostess and prepared the meal yourself, ask others to help. Even better, go to the home of a friend or a family member.

For our family, Thanksgiving arrived two months after losing our youngest son, Austin, in a car accident. The Thanksgiving feast had always been at our house. That first year, we went to my husband’s brother’s home and spent it with his family. The newness of the experience distracted a bit and helped us not to dwell continuously on our loss. Some years we deliver meals to shut-ins or help to serve at shelters. There is no requirement to behave in traditional ways. Everything will be different anyway.

There will be triggers that awaken grief. Expect them. It may be your loved one’s favorite foods or perhaps just a crowd of people that sets off the grief. If you need to take a break and be alone, find a quiet spot to feel your emotions. Allow yourself to work through your emotions instead of working so dang hard to deny them. Share them with someone or with the Lord. Cry, mourn—do what you need to do and then try to rejoin the others. It always helps to get what is on the inside to move outside when in grief. Those waves of feelings will come and go with varying intensity. Above all, don’t deny your feelings and don’t feel guilty about being sad. You have reason to be.

Although we often expect our days of celebration to be worse than other days while we are grieving, sometimes they are not as bad as we expect. Surprisingly, I usually do pretty well through the day. My grief attacks usually come a day or two before or a day or two after an event. But that’s me. It may be different for you. There are no rules here.

I noticed something during my deepest anguish: when I praised God and thanked Him for our many blessings, my pain would subside—not for long, but for a little while. Perhaps that is why we are admonished in scripture to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:18).

While the chairs are empty and our hearts are broken, let’s all give thanks for our blessings this Thanksgiving.